So our secret is out, friends. So much I couldn't tell you for so long - it was so difficult! I actually started pre-writing posts for later because there was so much I couldn't write about but I just needed to get it out. Here are just a few of the "I wish I could tell yous" that I wrote down...
I wish I could share with you that I've been getting sick every day since I peed on a stick, and it came out positive. I've never been so happy about throwing up. (Happily, throwing up stopped after a couple of months. Praise God.)
I wish I could tell you the story about how I cried when I realized this year we could go trick-or-treating. Cue one hour of crying by myself.
Really, I've been crying every day. And not like I used to.
I wish I could tell you how I secretly danced with my nurse on the day of our first ultrasound. How grateful I felt. They were the only people we could really share our excitedness with at that time.
Right now I can't tell you that I haven't been able to wear real pants since Christmas. That I was put on bed-rest at 5 weeks. Can I tell you what a blessing bed-rest is to a person who has been through two years of fertility treatment? Basically God is telling you, "Relax. Take a nap. You've had a rough time. I'll take it from here." And then you nap.
Actually, scratch that. Bed-rest is TERRIBLE. Especially after seven weeks of it. You start to get a little batty. And grumpy. And achy.
This is the first time in two years that I haven't had to go to the doctor for two whole weeks. This makes me cry too.
I can't tell you how Nick has been cooking, cleaning, and taking care of everything. How I sit and watch and think. How thankful I am for him taking care of us.
I wish I could tell you about how we're battling to feel normal, like everyone else, when all of our experiences from the past two years made us feel very, very different. It's a daily struggle.
Okay, so now I think we're all caught up. The second trimester is already way better than the first, because it doesn't include keeping any secrets, hating all food, random vomiting, and excruciating bed-rest. And now that I bought some maternity pants, life is a lot better.