The Secret is Out

So our secret is out, friends.  So much I couldn't tell you for so long - it was so difficult!  I actually started pre-writing posts for later because there was so much I couldn't write about but I just needed to get it out.  Here are just a few of the "I wish I could tell yous" that I wrote down...

I wish I could share with you that I've been getting sick every day since I peed on a stick, and it came out positive.  I've never been so happy about throwing up.  (Happily, throwing up stopped after a couple of months.  Praise God.)

I wish I could tell you the story about how I cried when I realized this year we could go trick-or-treating.  Cue one hour of crying by myself.

Really, I've been crying every day.  And not like I used to.

I wish I could tell you how I secretly danced with my nurse on the day of our first ultrasound.  How grateful I felt. They were the only people we could really share our excitedness with at that time.

Right now I can't tell you that I haven't been able to wear real pants since Christmas.  That I was put on bed-rest at 5 weeks.  Can I tell you what a blessing bed-rest is to a person who has been through two years of fertility treatment?  Basically God is telling you, "Relax.  Take a nap.  You've had a rough time.  I'll take it from here."  And then you nap. 

Actually, scratch that.  Bed-rest is TERRIBLE.  Especially after seven weeks of it.  You start to get a little batty.  And grumpy.  And achy.  

This is the first time in two years that I haven't had to go to the doctor for two whole weeks.  This makes me cry too.
 
I can't tell you how Nick has been cooking, cleaning, and taking care of everything.  How I sit and watch and think.  How thankful I am for him taking care of us. 

I wish I could tell you about how we're battling to feel normal, like everyone else, when all of our experiences from the past two years made us feel very, very different.  It's a daily struggle.

Okay, so now I think we're all caught up.  The second trimester is already way better than the first, because it doesn't include keeping any secrets, hating all food, random vomiting, and excruciating bed-rest.  And now that I bought some maternity pants, life is a lot better.